


I Need To Talk To Him

by eternal_fireworks



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, Ian trying to get Mickey back, Mentioned Mandy Milkovich, Svetlana - Freeform, Svetlana and Mickey are friends, mentioned drug use, mentioned yevgeny Milkovich, so much angst omg, v angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-25 07:30:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3802003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternal_fireworks/pseuds/eternal_fireworks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian finds an old video of Mickey, something that makes him realise that he wants Mickey back. Ian knows Mickey will be waiting with open arms... Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ofc I want Noel to come back to Shameless but I kind of want this to happen, notes at the end explaining.

It had been a whole month since the conversation between Ian and Mickey outside the Gallagher house. Ian had heard that Mickey hadn’t been shot, and that Sammi had been arrested for attempted murder and possession of a lethal weapon without a licence. He could safely say he didn’t give a shit about her and was glad she was gone.

He had tried his best not to think about his now ex-boyfriend, but that had failed miserably. He couldn’t help thinking that maybe, just maybe he had fucked up. In a big way. For the first week it had felt good. It had felt good for no one to be hanging off him all the time, good to be free from his meds and free from Mickey. But of course, that only lasted a week.

He began to miss the little things. Waking up to Mickey stroking his hair, Mickey making him breakfast (however sparse), even Mickey swearing at him, telling him to shut the fuck up or flipping him the bird. Yep, he’d messed up big time. He had been such a dick. They way he’d talked to Mickey, insulted him, he must have made him feel like shit. Mickey was always there whenever he needed him, and now that he wasn’t with Ian, Ian felt like no one really cared about him anymore. No one gave a shit because they were all too busy with their own lives to worry about his shitshow. Mickey hadn’t attempted to get in touch with Ian, but he didn’t blame him. Ian hadn’t tried to see or call Mickey either, afraid that if he did his resolve would crack and he would end up crawling right back to him.

However it was safe to say that when Ian found the DVD, he knew what he had to do.

It was just lying there, underneath a pile of dirty clothes, with ‘For Ian, for a rainy day’ scrawled in Mandy’s writing across it. Intrigued, he grabbed Lip’s old beaten-up laptop and inserted the DVD. The laptop whirred into life and the DVD menu popped up. He pressed play and was met with Mandy’s face. He felt his heart drop into his stomach, man he missed her.

She had her phone faced towards her and was giggling quietly.

‘ _Okay, so I just got home’_ Mandy started in a whisper, ‘ _and I can hear Mickey fucking singing!_ ’ and true to her word, Mickey’s voice could be heard very quietly through the laptop, as if he was in a separate room to Mandy.

‘ _I’m gonna go and see what’s up_ ’ She said, turning the phone around so Ian had a view of the Milkovich hall leading down to Mickey’s door. For a moment, when Mandy had reached the end of the hall, Ian just had the half formed words ‘AY THE F’ on his screen, from the sign on his ex-boyfriend’s door, and Mickey could be clearly heard singing while quietly strumming what sounded like a guitar.

_‘Lost and insecure_

_You found me, you found me’_

Was that The Fray? Ian thought to himself. He listened harder, trying to tune out the sound of Mandy laughing.

_‘You found me, you found me_

_Why’d you have to wait, where were you, where were you’_

Ian was welling up, listening to Mickey’s slightly out of tune voice singing such an emotional song.

_‘Just a little late_

_You found me, you found-‘_

And the moment was ruined when Mandy burst through the door into Mickey’s room. Mickey was suddenly visible sitting on his bed. Though the quality was bad due to Mandy’s shitty phone, Ian could tell he was 16 or 17, over a year ago.

‘ _What the fuck Mandy?!_ ’ Mickey yelled.

‘ _Whatcha doin’_?’ Mandy asked. Mickey looked like a deer in headlights.

‘ _None of your damn business_ ’

‘ _Oh come on Mick, you can tell me’_ Mandy said, still giggling. What Mandy said next however made Ian’s heart speed up ‘ _So… Are you singing that song about Ian?’_

 _‘Fuck off’_ Mickey spat.

 _‘So that’s a yes’_ Mickey stayed silent, playing with the strings on his guitar.

 _‘His birthday’s coming up, I thought I’d do something… I don’t know special I guess’_ Mickey was carefully avoiding Mandy’s eye. ‘ _But I’m nervous as fuck, I don’t think I can do something as faggy as actually sing to someone.’_

 _‘That’s okay then’_ Mandy said. Mickey looked up at supposedly Mandy’s face, seeing as he still seemed to be oblivious to the fact that Mandy was filming at all.

‘ _Why?’_ Mickey said.

‘ _Because if you’re too nervous to give it to him you can just show him the video I just took of it all’_ Mickey’s eyes went wide and Ian saw him practically throw the guitar across the room in his haste to get to Mandy.

The camera jolted and fell to the floor pointing upwards as Mickey jumped on Mandy while she laughed. There were a few moments of scuffling before Mickey picked up the phone. Ian could see his face and his middle finger for a split second before the video cut off and Lip’s laptop screen went blank.

A surge of emotion hit Ian. What the fuck had he done? He took the DVD out of the computer, put it back in its flimsy case. He grabbed his coat from behind the door and practically ran down the stairs and out of the back door. He noticed dimly how though the kitchen was full, and despite the fact he must have looked panicked while running out of the house, no one thought too ask him where he was going. He needed Mickey now. So he ran down the block in the direction of the Milkovich house.


	2. Chapter 2

When Ian reached the Milkovich house he was out of breath. It reminded him of when he and Mickey were back at the dugouts and Ian couldn’t even do a single pull-up. It only made him miss Mickey more.

He ran up the steps, praying that Mickey was there. He had no idea what he was going to say, he only knew that he would make Mickey listen, he would make him take him back. He had to hear Ian out. That was all he knew.

He banged on the door three times, and for a split second Ian thought that maybe no one was home. However after only 10 seconds the door opened and Ian sighed with relief.

Svetlana looked different, somewhat incomplete without Yevgeny on her hip, but Ian found comfort in the fact that her scowl remained in place as she stared Ian down.

‘What the fuck do you want?’ Svetlana asked. Ian’s heart dropped at the words. He still hadn’t had the chance to apologise to her for taking Yevgeny in the first place.

‘Is Mickey here?’ She opened her mouth to say something but Ian cut across her ‘please Svet, I need to see him.’

‘You don’t call me that’ she said, pointing a finger at him, ‘that name is for family only.’

Though Ian wondered since when Svetlana had considered Mickey family, seeing as he was the only other person Ian had heard use that name, but he held his tongue. He didn’t want her to slam the door in his face, not until he talked to Mickey.

Despite this she walked back into the house, leaving the door open and Ian followed her in. He was nervous as fuck as he walked through the living room behind Svetlana, who was no doubt leading him to Mickey. He clutched the DVD case, wondering what the hell he was going to say to appease Mickey.

If he wasn’t so preoccupied with thinking about seeing Mickey and what he would say, he would have noticed the obviously empty house, and that everything looked kind of bare.

When he entered Mickey’s room he found Svetlana putting clothes into a suitcase. Noticing that Mickey was nowhere to be found he said:

‘Where’s Yev?’ He missed the baby, he wanted to see him.

‘He is with Mickey’ Svetlana said, putting a pair of little booties into the suitcase before her.

‘And where might that be?’ Thinking that maybe he was in the bathroom he looked towards the door leading off Mickey’s room. But he found it wide open, the room beyond it empty.

He looked back at Svetlana who had an unlit cigarette in her mouth. ‘Gone’ she said simply, lighting it and looking up at Ian before going back to her packing.

‘Where? Will he be back soon? I kind of need to talk to him’ Ian replied, looking around for any sign of the youngest male Milkovich.

‘No you big orange idiot, he is gone’ Svetlana repeated, still folding clothes and putting them into the large suitcase on the bed. Only then did Ian notice she wasn’t only packing Yevgeny’s clothes. He saw a few of Mickey’s familiar tank tops and hoodies lying unfolded on the bed, ready to be packed away.

Ian’s heart dropped into his stomach. Only then did he notice that the room was bare. The walls weren’t covered in Mickey’s posters and drawings anymore, they were clean, apart from the obvious smoke stains on the ceilings and walls where the posters hadn’t covered.

‘W-what do you mean gone? Where’s he fucking gone?!’ Ian raised his voice to a shout, which didn’t bother Svetlana in the slightest.

‘He is in Indiana. With Mandy.’ Ian didn’t know what to think. Mickey, his Mickey had left. He’d gone, he’d left him. ‘Don’t cry like baby in front of me orange boy.’ Svetlana said, not sparing Ian a glance, even as the floor of Ian’s world fell out from underneath him. ‘It is your fault he is gone.’

Ian couldn’t stop the tears that sprung into his eyes. He slumped onto the bed, though carefully avoiding the pile of clothes.

‘I will say again, stop being baby.’ Her words didn’t register with him.

‘I can’t believe he left me.’ Ian said, cradling his head in his hands.

‘Him?!’ Svetlana said shrilly, making Ian jump out of his skin as she stamped out her finished cigarette on the floor. ‘Him leave you?! He told me what you said to him, how can you sit there and complain he left you? He was broken. He drinks every night after you end it. He take drugs and smoke until he can’t speak, and you sit there looking like kicked puppy?!’

Ian was listening to Svetlana with an open mouth. He never truly thought about what effect his words would have on Mickey, but he never expected this. Or maybe he did, he just didn’t want to admit to himself that he caused it.

‘You broke him, orange boy.’ She said, tears in her eyes now, too. ‘How could you be so cruel?’ Ian felt a sudden burst of anger towards Svetlana. Since when had she been so eager to defend him? Since when had she cared?

Standing up to face her Ian said ‘Oh don’t act like you give a shit about Mickey now, remember who was there when you were threatening him, making his life hell.’

In a flash Svetlana had thrown down the clothes she was holding, and had made her way around the bed and was squaring up to Ian, and he couldn’t help but shrink under her furious gaze.

‘Don’t you dare tell me who I do and don’t care about. I regret everything I said and did. Mickey is good man, good father. I know that now, and you do nothing but take advantage.’

Ian made to speak but this time it was Svetlana who cut him off. ‘You ask for me to remember who was there when I was that person? I do, but I also remember who was not there when Mickey puke his guts up every night for a week, when I find him passed out with needles on the floor and when he is shouting and screaming that he will never be good enough not just for you orange boy, but for anyone.’

Ian was stunned into silence. What he had done to Mickey really started to hit home. ‘It was me. I was there to pick up pieces. I was there to comfort him. I clean up your mess while you disappear. And now you come here asking to _talk_ to him.’ She looked him up and down before turning on her heal, picking up one of Yev’s onesies and saying ‘he is better off without you, orange boy.’

Ian felt like he couldn’t breathe. What had he done? How could he have made Mickey feel that way? He knew what he had said was cruel, but Mickey had always bounced back. But the more Ian thought about it, the more he knew that he was the only one who could break Mickey.

Svetlana took his silence as a cue to continue. ‘I call Mandy. I do my best but she was the only one who could fix him. Make him better. We care for him together for two weeks, making sure he do not fall off wagon.’ Ian was only half listening, still wallowing in his own despair and loss. He saw in his mind’s eye, however, Svetlana and Mandy looking after Mickey, trying to keep him calm and sober. ‘Mandy left Kenyatta two months ago and has spare rooms in her flat. Mickey moved there a week ago. I am leaving later today.’ She seemed to have finished her story.

‘I need- Um I need to… Yeah’ Ian stuttered. He got up from the bed, walked into the bathroom and shut the door. He gripped the sink with both hands and looked up into the mirror at his own face. His eyes were rimmed with red, and he looked like pure shit. For a minute he just looked at his reflection, as it really sunk in. Mickey had left.

He heard Svetlana moving around in Mickey’s room, but jumped slightly when he heard her voice. Thinking she might be addressing him he listened more carefully, only to hear she was clearly on the phone. But it was who she was clearly on the phone to that made Ian listen even more intently, his heart aching.

‘Orange boy is here.’

_Pause_

‘No, I let him in. He comes with DVD? Asks to talk to you.’

_Pause_

‘To Ian, for a rainy day,’ Svetlana was reading out what was labelled on the DVD. ‘why?’

_Pause_

‘What do you want me to do with it?’ Ian listened even harder. He could almost feel Mickey’s presence on the other end of the line. He wanted to speak to him so much it hurt.

‘Okay, if you are sure. He is in bathroom, do you want to speak to him?’ Ian’s heart sped up.

Please, please please please Mickey. Please say you want to talk to me.

‘Okay. I will tell him.’ Her tone became less sombre. ‘I see you later tonight, I’ll make goulash. Give Yevgeny kiss from me and say hi to Mandy.’ There was a pause as Mickey obviously said something funny, as Svetlana laughed. Ian so desperately wanted to know what it was. Svetlana spoke what sounded like a farewell in Russian and Ian burst through the door just as she hung up.

Svetlana looked at him nonchalantly.

‘What did he say? Didn’t he want to talk to me?’ Svetlana didn’t answer but picked up the DVD case lying on the bed where Ian had dropped it at some point. He watched as she opened the case, took out the DVD and snapped it.

‘No!’ Ian yelled. He lurched forwards but it was too late, the damage had been done.

‘He wanted me to tell you not to contact him, or ever try to.’ Ian wanted to yell at her, scream that she was lying, that Mickey would never say that. But he knew, deep down, it was true.

Ian didn’t say another word but practically ran out of the house and nearly fell down the front steps.

As he ran back to his childhood home the thought occurred to him. How could he have taken Mickey so for granted? How could he have just assumed, and been so sure that Mickey would be there, willing and waiting for him? Because Mickey had been. He had always come back and he’d always been there, but this time Ian had gone too far.

How could he have been so selfish? Ian bypassed the Gallagher house and kept on running till he couldn’t breathe. He collapsed under the L tracks, the weight of what had happened hitting him square in the chest.

Mickey didn’t want him anymore. He’d really done it this time. He’d fucked up the best thing to ever have happened to him. But he knew now, he had to deal with that. He did it, he needed to let him get on with his life, because Mickey deserved better. It had always been the other way round, everyone telling him he could do better than Mickey, but now Ian knew. He’d never ever find anyone like Mickey. He just realised that a tiny bit too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted this to happen because the way Ian spoke to Mickey during the breakup was like ????? He just said he loved u do u even know who ur talking to??? I wasn't annoyed about the breakup as much as how it was done. If Ian suddenly changes his mind and wants Mickey back, a part of me would want this to happen bc I would want Mickey to know he doesn't need Ian. If Ian doesn't want him he can move on with his life. So yh... Still only a part of me wants this to happen, the fluffy part wants them to ride off on a unicorn into the sunset together and be happy forever. PS Svetlana is my fave so I made her be the one to kick some sense into Ian...


End file.
